Backwoods Horror

Source: FANGORIA

PLAYBOY, yes, THE Playboy is going to be, ahem, touching upon the sex appeal of vampires in their upcoming OCTOBER issue of the mag.  This from FANGO:

Given the success of the HBO series TRUE BLOOD and the THE TWILIGHT SAGA of books and films, there is no denying that pop culture today is enthralled with all things vampire. The October issue of Playboy seeks to explain this sexy phenomenon with a history of vampire lore accompanied by a seductive eight-page pictorial.
“Love Bites” offers historical insight into the sexualization of the vampire, beginning with Bela Lugosi’s compelling portrayal of Dracula, but it is the eight pages of accompanying photos that truly demonstrate the seductive power of bloodsuckers.
“At times it’s hard to see the blood for all the sex simmering below the surface,” says “Love Bites” writer Leslie Klinger of today’s fashionable vampire tales. But in Playboy, neither the blood nor the sex is hidden below any surface, as two gorgeous women reveal both the fear and the passion aroused by the undead.
The stunning pictorial, featuring Playboy Poland Playmate of the Year Kasia Danysz and Weronika Zurkowska, was first shot by photographer Szymon Brodziak for the March 2009 issue of Playboy Poland. While Klinger offers numerous historic and social explanations for audiences’ fascination with vampiric love, Brodziak’s photos prove that no matter what it is that attracts us, fangbanging has never looked so good.

I believe the October issue is already on stands now, so, what are ya waiting for, tit’s ‘n blood make everything better!  Go out ‘n get it!
Check out the Cover:

Just saw this news over at SHOCK TILL YOU DROP:

Yahoo! Movies has posted the first trailer for Daybreakers, the futuristic vampire flick from Peter and Michael Spierig (Undead).

In the movie, Ethan Hawke plays Edward Dalton, a researcher in the year 2019, in which an unknown plague has transformed the world’s population into vampires. As the human population nears extinction, vampires must capture and farm every remaining human, or find a blood substitute before time runs out. However, a covert group of vampires makes a remarkable discovery, one which has the power to save the human race.

Check out the TRAILER RIGHT HERE.

Now, I’m a huge fan of the Spierig’s UNDEAD.  In fact, I should probably do a review.  Unfortunately, I’m thinking these guys’ talent comes from lack of funding and the absoulte necessity to look for other options and become creative.  I’m saying this because, yeah, this film, at this point, doesn’t look that great.  Maybe it’s the shitty EMO song at the end, who knows, but righ NOW, I’m not anticipating this AT all.  Hmmmm.  Maybe I’ll see something that changes my mind.  Still, if you want to check it out, click the linky above.

See what I did there, in the title, that thing about “sucktastic.”  Yes, that is indeed, sir or madam, a PUN.  First, here’s the story from SHOCK TILL YOU DROP:

The film and television rights for Nancy A. Collins’ young adult trilogy “Vamps” has been snapped up by Mukerjee-Brown Productions.

Shelley Brown and Lucy Mukerjee will oversee development of the series – which encompasses three books: “Vamps,” “Night Life” and “After Dark” – and are currently shopping the property around to various networks. “Vamps” was published last summer under the HarperCollins’ HarperTeen banner; “Night Life” followed last month and “After Dark” is due this July.

Set on the Upper East Side of New York City, the series looks into the lives of a group of prestigious bloodsucking daughters who attend night school at the elite Bathory Academy. There they learn to hone their abilities before venturing out for a night on the town. But their world is a sea of shifting loyalties, vicious rivalries and salacious revelations.

“With this fantastic series, Nancy has proved she has her finger on the pulse of the current teen sensation. The books of a Gossip Girl appeal with a Twilight edge and are perfect material for a hit TV show.”

After Dark Films founder Courtney Solomon is on board to executive produce.

OK, now, who, from that outline, in the horror community, is going to not take a giant shit all over this?  Come on?  How can you have more suckatude?  Gossip Girl Meets Twilight?  Fucking BRILLIANT!  Oh my GOD, I never thought a show could be worse than FRIDAY THE 13th, THE SERIES, but by golly they’ve gone and found one.  To quote so many YouTube commentors out there, “if you watch this, you are gay.”  Holy shit.  Just, oh fuck that sounds like such a bad concept.  Almost as bad as Stockholm Syndrome.

Alrighty, A television show about vampires set in the south.  Louisiana to be exact.  When I first heard (vaguely) about the premise of True Blood: Vampires have come “out of the coffin” and have revealed themselves to the rest of the world thanks to the Japanese who’ve invented a synthetic blood that vamps can drink instead of the real thing, thus, you know, allowing them to have friends and lead um, more normal lives, I was, kind of excited. Blah Blah.  Horror in the south, so you know it piqued MY interest.  

Turns out there was a rough cut of the pilot “released/leaked” to the intarwebz so, of course, I watched it.  What a disappointment.  Let’s talk about those accents.  They were the most horribly contrived, fake, STUPID accents I’ve ever heard.  I mean, it was almost insulting, being a southerner myself.  The acting seemed completely unnatural.  I mean, it’s a show about vampires, so unnatural fits in there somewhere, but the acting?  The number one rule, aside from fantastic writing (which the show was also lacking), is believable, natural acting.  The audience has to BELIEVE.  You have to put the audience in a place where, once they believe in the characters, you can throw just about anything in there, be it vampires, killer chickens, whatever.  

Maybe it was due to the fact that the pilot episode was a rough cut, or that sometimes the first episode of a new series just sucks out loud, but the pilot for TRUE BLOOD just lacked any bite.  Heh, sorry, couldn’t help myself.  For those of you that might be interested, click on the vivacious Anna Paquin below (who stars as Sookie Stackhouse in the series).  The show’s set to air September 7, 2008. Hopefully it’ll get better as it progresses.