Ok, granted I was a bit inebriated a bit at the time of viewing, as I had originally watched about the first 30 minutes of this flick and absolutely abhorred it. So THIS time around, I look a klonopin and had a glass of root beer and Catdaddy’s Carolina Moonshine (see the Season 01 Episode 04 of THE BACKWOODS HORRORSHOW) to see if I could watch it in some capacity where I’d enjoy it. I didn’t. Here are the rambling notes I took, a synopsis if you will, of the film:
Ok, so the movie starts with some guy in the shadows watching two hookers making out. Guy looks like a heroin fiend. “would it be alright if I peed in your mouth” girl:” fuck no” guy: “would it be alright if you peed in my mouth?” girl:”that’s the same thing,”
Guy goes out to get some cigarettes and tells her to put her clothes back on. At the convenience store, him and this clerk with a stupid Christmas outfit are just staring at each other. The clerk says “this is going to be the worst Christmas ever.”
Guy comes back wearing jinco jeans. um, they weren’t even cool in the 90’s.
He comes in the hotel room and no one’s there. He goes into the bathroom and opens the shower curtain to find blood on the walls and what’s left of the hooker in bloody chunks. Then some masked, gloved killer shoves a knife through the back of the guy’s head, the blade protruding from his mouth. and he falls into the tub.
Opening credits with some shitty art. Original score by ZOMBI? Only good part of the flick so far. That’s a band trying to fill the GOBLIN void. Their music is kickass. So far though, the music is pedestrian.
Then we open on three peeps at a door for a little get together/party thing. They’re going to a party they don’t even want to go to. The acting is horrible so far. I don’t even know the character’s names yet. The two people (caught a name: Candace-Tiffany Shepis) (Claire, some kind of introverted chick who hangs out with this guy with a shitty northern, new yorkian accent. His name is Mark)
Robert is this introverted kind of weird guy. He and Mark work at a funeral home.
JESUS FUCK THIS STORY BLOWS. Mark seems like he’s a reject from the era of Grunge. Was this movie MADE in the 90’s? Everyone seems to be acting or dressed like they’re in the 90’s.
BILL MOSELEY shows up as the Suitcase Man. He seems kind of like his ChopTop character from TCM 2, which was somewhat of a high point. He just walks in with a suitcase full of razors. Camerawork in this flick is awful. Very little experimentation or inventive camerawork. Some, but not much, like they were hardly trying.
Ok, Mr. Suitcase asks everyone at the party who they hate and takes a razor out and cuts himself, Tiffany Shepis in a stranglehold the entire time. Bill Moseley’s teeth are WAY to white. Robert says he hates his boss, The introverted chick hates this guy who raped her, etc. etc. and one guy says he hates everyone in the room.
Then we cut to the drug dealer Matthew who deals meth or coke or something, it’s never really made clear. A child molester knocks on his door to tell him he’s moving into the neighbourhood. Unecessary. When he comes back in, he goes downstairs to check on some chick who says there’s someone down there, the someone fucks up Mark’s arm, then we get….MONEY SHOT, A CURB STOMP, head splattery goodness.
Cut to Candace (Shepis) punching in for work. She gets high on meth or coke or whatever. She’s a cleaning lady I guess. She proceeds to go nuts and sprays everything and acts like a total fucking moron. DEVIN enters and tells Candace that Mark’s dead and she doesn’t really care.
Cut to MARK and ROBERT at the Funerial home.
Candace shows up at Mark’s house and gets fucked up on coke and they start talking about Claire, the introverted check and then they do the big nasty and it’s stupid. Tiffany Shepis BooB moment for anyone who cares. Claire shows up. If this is supposed to get us drawn into the characters, it makes me not give a shit about them even more. Caire see’s Candace on the couch and jets. Upset. Why? Who fuckiing knows or cares.
Tiffany Shepis comes home to find her mom, who we met earlier and who looks the same age, all kinds of fucked up hacked to bits. Candace/Shepis, still fucked up, just flips out and rolls around in the old bitches blood. Takes off her shirt, sorry boys, just bra this time, and covers herself in blood. Panties now too. Pukes up all over her mum. Then she’s tied up in the basement. Masked/Gloved starts cutting at her and then kills her.
Cut to Devin, who we met at the cleaning place bowling with the guy throwing the get together, Tim. They’re talking about finding the suitcase guy and shooting him in the head. They’re all fucked up on something.
Cut to mortuary, Robert’s boss is dead, split open. More bad acting from him and the other guy. The other guy says to go to Candace’s house an/d doesn’t find anything. Robert answers a phone call from Tim. Tim keeps talking weird, monotone, drugged out. Tim and Devin are going over to Candace’s house.
Cut to the other mortuary guy, um, Mark, walking into a garage with Caire to talk to the guy who raped her to warn him about his impending doom cause she named him. Guy’s name is Anthony/Tony. This guy is fucked up weird too. IS EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE ON CRANK? More bad acting. Just weird. Anthony puts on sunglasses and it’s like he changes into some kind of violent crazy fucker who attacks Mark. Flashback to when Claire was raped.
Cut to Tim and Devin driving in a car, they’ve picked up Robert and they’re going to a bar. They’re going to Tim’s uncle’s afterwards who has a lot of guns.. A LOT OF GUNS! The uncle is played by Tom Towles. “he’s kind of a militia man, a survivalist.” Some of the dialogue here is funny and good, but delivered poorly.
Cut to Anthony. Apparently, he had his ass kicked and he’s about to eat or something. The killer shows up, he dons the glasses and comes runnin’ out in slow motion with a crazy fucking axe deal. He loses the ax and gets his fingers cut off while his arm’s stuck in a car window. COOL GORE GAG. Killer picks up the axe and hits Anthony between his shoulder and and neck and drives it all the way down to his lungs, half splittin’ the guy. Grue and gore everywhere.
They’re all at the bar now and decide to go the militia uncle’s house to pick up some guns to take the crazy killer out. They arrive and…TOM TOWLES boys and girls. Crazy uncle Johnny? They eat chili and we see how Johnny is crazy. They talk about canning chili and selling it. Then Tim starts to talk what happened at the party. But now it’s Tim’s Dad, not uncle, so, is Devin a cousin?
Johnny seems to be the sanest of the bunch and we go on a rant about what to do when a psychopath strikes. Also, what’s the deal with the sound? Levels are fucked up. Some diag up, some down. Then we get a room full of automatic weaponry and shottys and stars and bars. “Open are the gates of Heaven”. They start dancing around and rolling around with the guns and then Robert accidentally shoots Tim. Uncle Johnny gets pissed and chases him with a machete. This is the best part of the movie. Fucked up crazy.
The masked killer’s in the house but he’s not a masked killer anymore, he’s unmasked and he’s some kind of demon and he kills robert and turns on Johnny. Johnny tries to stab him with the machete but fails and the demon rips Johnny’s head off. Devin shoots mark and pukes Not really sure why. Then he wants to shoot Claire because if the friends are dead, he survives, but the demon comes up behind him and punches a hole in the back of Devin’s head all the way to through..
Mark is still alive and tells Claire to stay away from him and jets. Mark doesn’t seem to make it and the demon guy comes out of some back room and Claire blows his head off. Mark’s still alive a little and Clair’s telling him it’s gonna be alright. Turns out Tom wasn’t dead though and pops out and shoots Mark in the head. Claire turns around and blows him away with a shotty. Then she starts crying, covered in blood, then a still frame of the demon guy, then we’re done.
IN A ROOM WHERE DARKNESS COUNTS FEATURETTE:
Ok, so, we see a bunch of clips where the director is obviously insane and talking about how violence and blood and gore is all it’s about and how everyone on the crew is conspiring against him. Then they’re in the house of some guy who has some kind of “Satanic Skull.” Then we have clips where the director’s talking about the Mr. Suitcase scene and how absolutely nuts this guys is. Like he’s on coke. He’s talking about how his actors suck. He’s re-inacting the scene and how frantic he was and how he needs to get that shot done in a night and how everything’s fucking up. This has to be the most fucked up shooting ever. They’re trying to find a road and end up in this hillbilly’s house because they were trespassing and they were gonna be shot when the wife comes in and then they’re invited into this backwoods house full of rebel flags and guns and that’s where the JOHNNY character comes from.
Director Adam Wingard.
So what can I say about this flick that I haven’t already. I was sorely dissapointed as I had been looking forward to this flick since I first heard about it some time back. The story was all over the place like some kind of weird, fucked up nightmare, and, as such, made very little sense. Yes, I understood the overall plot, a weird guy (Bill Mosely) comes in with a suitcase full of razorblades (is he a demon, some kind of psycho, what? It’s never explained. I sort of guessed he either WAS the demon/masked killer, or his partner). The characters (all unlikable and stupid) start listing off who they hate and then he slashes himself up (a blood rite, a signal to the demon?) for each one. Nothing made sense.
If I had to sum it all up, the film is a mess. It was a good idea, somewhat, but executed poorly. Good aspects: The gore was fairly well done, EXTREMELY well done considering the budget and the fact that this was an independent flick, wherein most gore effects are done poorly and look like something you’d pick up at Party City around Halloween. There’s head crushing and gutting and body splitting, etc that really made the movie worth watching, if for nothing else. The story was an original concept, though when you get right down to it, the overall script it somewhat boring and the characters are neither likeable or interesting, it’s like they were just…there. Cameo guest star roles from Tiffany Shepis (who had a rather lengthy role in the flick), Bill Mosely (for 3 seconds as Mr. Suitcase), and Tom Towles (who really stole the show as uncle Johnny, the deranged militia-man, racist, backwoods paranoid type…of which I’ve known a few). Those were all appreciated and brings the film up to a higher level than it would’ve been.
The Bad: I think I’ve mentioned most everything I disliked about the flick. Poor, PISS POOR dialogue spewed out by PISS POOR actors who seemed like they didn’t really believe in the project. Sad, really, as this project showed so much promise.
SYNAPSE did a kickass job on this disc as they do with everything they put out, no matter how obscure. Included in the special features are 3 short (art-school-esque) films done by the director previously that, in all actuality, are actually better than HOME SICK, showing that the director has some promise, but I’ll have to see more of his work to judge; he and his crew really dropped the ball on this one. The interview with Bill Mosely was brief but I’m glad they included it. The true gem of the special features is the featurette with the director who goes absolutely apeshit the entire time about this and that. He’s as all over the place as his film and I wonder if perhaps he wasn’t under the inluence of some illegal substances. He did tell a good story, however, of how he was sitting with Bill Mosely at some park or rest area when the woman at the table across from them began to hyperventilate and an ambulance had to be called.
Final word: This movie is worth watching once, even if you can’t tell what’s going on 100% of the time. There are aspects of Giallo, Slasher, Demonic Forces, etc. Brilliant, extremely violent scenes of gore and Tiffany Shepis boobies, yeah, I’d say watch this, buy it or rent it at least once and gather your own opinions and views. This one, however, is gonna get 2 out of 5 skulls. Watch it with friends and a tall glass of brew and try not to take it too seriously and you have a good party flick, but if you take it too seriously you’ll be dissapointed.
Thanks again to SYNAPSE for sending this one along!
Keep it Creepy!