Backwoods Horror

Ever since I first saw the trailer for Michael Dougherty’s Trick ‘r Treat (see it in all its horror anthology glory below), I’ve been waiting and waiting for it to come out in theaters. Unfortunately, earlier this year, Warner Brothers dropped the film from its 2008 release schedule (after it had already been dropped from its October 2007 release date).  Well, our friends down in Aussie town at Moviehole.net had a little chat with Mr. Dougherty and came back with the following quote: “The struggle continues. There’s interest from another distributor so negotiations have begun. Keep your severed fingers crossed!”  Hot Damn! Here’s hoping we’ll finally get to see something.  I mean, I’d prefer seeing it in a theater, but even if I have to watch it on dvd only, that’s still better than nothing.  

For those of you not in the know, Trick ‘r Treat, according to Wikipedia, follows the following plotline: 

“It is said that Halloween is the night when the dead rise to walk among us, and other unspeakable things roam free. The rituals of All Hallows Eve were devised to protect us from their evil mischief, and one small town is about to be taught a terrifying lesson that some traditions are best not forgotten.

Nothing is what it seems when a suburban couple learns the dangers of blowing out a Jack-o-Lantern before midnight, a terrifying principal with a serial killer attitude teaches one neighbor the true meaning of Halloween, Laurie (played by the always luscious Anna Paquin), a young woman dressed as little red riding hood, is stalked by a mysterious hooded figure at a local Halloween Festival; a group of pranksters goes too far and discovers the horrifying truth buried in a local urban legend of a school bus massacre; and a cantankerous old hermit is visited by a strange trick-or-treater with a few bones to pick.

Costumes and candy, ghouls and goblins, monsters and mayhem…the tricks and treats of Halloween turn deadly as strange creatures of every variety—human and otherwise—try to survive the scariest night of the year.”

Alrighty, A television show about vampires set in the south.  Louisiana to be exact.  When I first heard (vaguely) about the premise of True Blood: Vampires have come “out of the coffin” and have revealed themselves to the rest of the world thanks to the Japanese who’ve invented a synthetic blood that vamps can drink instead of the real thing, thus, you know, allowing them to have friends and lead um, more normal lives, I was, kind of excited. Blah Blah.  Horror in the south, so you know it piqued MY interest.  

Turns out there was a rough cut of the pilot “released/leaked” to the intarwebz so, of course, I watched it.  What a disappointment.  Let’s talk about those accents.  They were the most horribly contrived, fake, STUPID accents I’ve ever heard.  I mean, it was almost insulting, being a southerner myself.  The acting seemed completely unnatural.  I mean, it’s a show about vampires, so unnatural fits in there somewhere, but the acting?  The number one rule, aside from fantastic writing (which the show was also lacking), is believable, natural acting.  The audience has to BELIEVE.  You have to put the audience in a place where, once they believe in the characters, you can throw just about anything in there, be it vampires, killer chickens, whatever.  

Maybe it was due to the fact that the pilot episode was a rough cut, or that sometimes the first episode of a new series just sucks out loud, but the pilot for TRUE BLOOD just lacked any bite.  Heh, sorry, couldn’t help myself.  For those of you that might be interested, click on the vivacious Anna Paquin below (who stars as Sookie Stackhouse in the series).  The show’s set to air September 7, 2008. Hopefully it’ll get better as it progresses.