After YEARS and YEARS, Jonathan (Warm Bodies) Levine’s ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANEhas finally been released in the US. The film hit on demand September 6th and will be playing theaters October 11th – SEVEN YEARS after its Toronto Film Festival Midnight premiere due to so many distribution problems.
Check out my review of the film (from 2008)… I was rather harsh on the film in my early (read: Young and Impetuous) days reviewing horror films, so I’ll probably be doing a secondary review on the film upon viewing the new release now that I’ve grown as a writer & reviewer. My knowledge on the genre and filmmaking in general has improved over the years as well, which can only help. My memories of the film are fonder than my original viewing, so we’ll see. Who knows WHY this flick was shelved so damn long!
In celebration of the theatrical release, an alternate poster has been released that looks like something MONDO might’ve released. Check it out after the break!
“I’m a genuine, high-caliber, fucker-people-upper.” Well, this is about as ridiculous as it gets. The new red band trailer for MACHETE KILLS gets silly, bloody, gruesome and hilarious. If you want to save some of the outrageous deaths for the theaters, you might want to steer clear of this new trailer, because there are some wild kills, courtesy of Danny Trejo. Plus, we get a better handle on the crazy villain that Mel Gibson is having a lot of fun bringing to life and all his minions get in on the action too. Complete with hilarious one-liners, this shows us that Machete Kills is really going to up the ante on the grindhouse action comedy.
Danny Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent Machete, who is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.
MACHETE KILLS is directed by Robert Rodriguez (Machete, SinCity, SpyKidsfranchise) from a screenplay by Kyle Ward based on a story by Marcel Rodriguez and Robert Rodriguez. The film stars Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Mel Gibson, Jessica Alba, Demian Bichir, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, Zoe Saldana, Edward James Olmos, Charlie Sheen, Elise Avellan, Electra Avellan, William Sadler, Lady Gaga, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, and Marko Zaror.
After YEARS and YEARS, Jonathan (Warm Bodies) Levine’s ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE is finally gracing US shores. The film will be released on demand September 6th and in theaters October 11th – SEVEN YEARS after its Toronto Film Festival Midnight premiere due to so many distribution problems.
Check out my review of the film (from 2008)… I was rather harsh on the film in my early (read: Young and Impetuous) days reviewing horror films, so I’ll probably be doing a secondary review on the film upon the new release now that I’ve grown as a writer & reviewer. My knowledge on the genre and filmmaking in general has improved over the years as well, which can only help. My memories of the film are fonder than my original viewing, so we’ll see. Who knows WHY this flick was shelved so damn long!
Starring Amber Heard and Anson Mount, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is about a group of high-schoolers who invite Mandy Lane, “a good girl” who becomes the object of everyone’s affection after returning from summer break, to a weekend party on a secluded ranch. While the festivities rage on, the number of revelers begins to mysteriously drop one at a time.
“GaGa is making the logical step into acting, with MACHETE KILLS?
Robert Rodriguez is currently underway on the sequel to his 2010 expansion of his GRINDHOUSE trailer, MACHETE. By all accounts, MACHETE was fairly tepid when it came to attempting to deliver exploitation thrills. It hit all the familiar over-the-top beats you’d expect Rodriguez to make (not necessarily a bad thing), but certainly didn’t push any bad taste.
I’ve been expecting much of the same from MACHETE KILLS. Stunt casting has been announced since the follow-up’s inception, with the likes of Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson joining returning stars Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, the Avellan twins and newcomers Amber Heard, Edward James Olmos, Sofia Vergara and Alexa Vega. And it’s not that the casting of Lady GaGa is changing my mind on this, but it’s oddly perfect for her to get on the acting train here.
GaGa is ridiculous. While she means well enough in her activist pants, she’s often a loud, colorful amusement park attraction (that’s also crafted some bangers on the radio, no doubt). Rodriguez’s more purposefully exploitation efforts have the same silly flare. Ludicrous violence, posturing, attempts at smoldering cool and overt sexuality, and even some surface value politics. Much like GaGa, MACHETE exists somewhere between sublime fun and sheer eye-rollery.
It’s kind of a match made in heaven, and I’m curious. No release date just yet, but you can see the Lady Gaga/MACHETE KILLS character poster, introducing La Chameleon, below.”
Well, what can I say about ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE? …This movie just…it was awful. I’m damn glad I didn’t have to waste money on it, that’s for sure. I can positively state just about two things I liked about this flick: The Cinematography and the Location. Other than that, you’ll find, along with your run-of-the-mill slasher, a film so full of angst you’d think it had been a WB (ahem, CW) reject, chock full of annoying, cliche’d Dawson’s Creek-esque characters. Here’s the synopsis from IMDB:
The orphan Mandy Lane is a beautiful, virgin and pure teenager raised by her aunt, desired by her schoolmates and a close friend of the outcast Emmet. After the death of their high school mate in a pool party, Mandy befriends Chloe, Marlin, Red, Bird and Jake. Red invites the group for a weekend party in the isolated ranch of his family, with all the boys disputing who would succeed in having sex with Mandy Lane. They meet the henchman Garth that takes care of the ranch and he asks the group to go easy on the drugs and booze. In the middle of the night, a stranger wearing a hood attacks Marlin in the barn; when Jake seeks her out, he faces the killer, beginning a night of bloodshed and terror.
This flick was just flat out boring as hell with a soundtrack rife with chick remakes of classic songs (which did nothing but make me dislike it that much more). With all the hype surrounding this one, I was ready for a kickass shot in the arm but got, instead, a catheter to the dickhole. The look if the film was incredible, and I see the DP and Art Director going on to have a fairly illustrious career if this movie doesn’t ruin them. I have to admit the movie LOOKED beautiful. Unfortunately, however, not even the delicious Amanda Heard (see below) could save this one. And to top everything off, we had a “twist” ending anyone with about half a brain could’ve seen coming well before the halfway point of the flick. The tagline I’d put on this one would be *SPOILER* Columbine in the Country *END SPOILER*. Other than a few gags here and there, the gore wasn’t really there, and the nudity was wanting (Slasher Staples people, I mean, come on, if you’ve got a shit movie on your hands, you’d better put in the two B’s of horror, BLOOD ‘n BOOBS for an ace in the hole. See if if you want to waste your money in time, or you’re morbidly curious, or perhaps if you’re the type that likes flogging yourself with a cat ‘o nine tails on a consistent basis, but I would definitely recommend moving on to something worthwhile. Hell, I can see now why Dimension dropped it (though it’s mentioned it had something to do with GRINDHOUSE flopping, I suspect it was because the movie sucked third world balls!) Below is a trailer if you’re interested and a pic of Amber Heard to bring a bit of joy to this review.
Horrid story, worse characters and dialogue. Flush this turd. One out of Five Skulls: