The good boils ‘n ghouls over at SHOCK TILL YOU DROP were nice enough to put up some video of the Fangoria WEEKEND OF HORRORS out in LA which is just fantastic for people like me who can’t get out to the conventions (I’m in convention locked NC). Thanks for letting me live vicariously Ryan Rotten!
Check it out, it’s fucking fantastic!
While not a long or in depth review by any means, the following exposition fully captures my thoughts on the film. At least…the first minute and a half of the film.
Uwe Boll, have you truly sunk so low as to actually incorporate the filmed torture, maiming, and live skinning of dogs into your film to achieve some form of, what, exploitation cred? What, you think you can be “cool” like Deodato? Go fuck yourself you (lowercase) german piece of shit. I’m sorry, was that not politically correct? I’m just trying to be sooooooo edgy like you. I have a new pinnacle for worst movie here at Backwoods Horror. I didn’t think it’d happen so soon. Motherfuck I’m mad. Seriously, I wish I’d had a chance to go in the ring with the “raging” Boll. I’d fucking curbstomp your ass Boll. What? Not allowed? I suppose continuing to break your fucking skull past all recognition would just constitute unprofessional journalism. Hmmmm, how to be classy. Oh yeah, you threw that out the windown WHEN YOU PUT FUCKING ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF THE TORTURE, SKINNING, MAIMING, AND OVERALL SICK FUCK BULLSHIT TREATMENT OF THOSE FUCKING DOGS IN YOUR MOVIE FOR ENTERTAINMENT VALUE. It’s a real shame you weren’t aborted.
Ahem. And that is my review. Pretty much sums it up.
Ok boils ‘n ghouls, let me know what you think. I’m thinking about starting a new bit called “Crypto Corner.” (That title is tentative). It’ll be about cryptids such as Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil, Monstrous Snakes, etc. The monsters of the cryptid world, not your newly discovered bird from guatemala. What do you think? Cryptozoology (look it up) is very near and dear to me (yes, even the little finds like that mentioned above) and I think it could be fun. Let me know!
Ok…this viddy is…I can’t describe it. I watch it at least once a day. It has possessed my mind. I’M A FURIOUS MAGICIAN!!
Just a reminder that Backwoods Horror is a site for the fans by the fans (or at least A fan, sometimes 2), and that I thrive on your comments. If you agree, disagree, want to just speak your mind about anything horror, leave a comment. I try to respond to all of them. For further fan interaction, I’m working towards getting a forum up. So here’s a little inspiration…why not comment on what you think the forum should be called. I’m thinking of calling it THE SHACK or THE BACKWOODS. What do you think? Chime in and let me know!
Aaron Out!
Here’s a video where I meet George A. Romero for the first time. I’m a bit star-struck, I must say. Another video will be coming soon about what I got signed and how the experience kind of sucked really (NOT GEORGE’S FAULT).
Ok, here’s the thing. I took the time out to review the film Stockholm Syndrome for the production company 4th Floor Pictures. I gave it a bad review because I thought it was a bad movie. I did, indeed, trash it. That’s what I do whenever I see a film that has no artistic merit whatsoever. It wasn’t even “bad funny.” It was just bad. When I mentioned in the review that the writer/director began his production company at the age of 18, I can only surmize that this was maybe, at most, 2 years ago, because the guy and his cronies still behave as if they were children. Since I posted the review, I have received countless harrassing posts and comments attacking my credibility. Instead of brushing the review off as simply another bad review on the pile, as any professional would have, the entire team of 4th Floor continues to post a barrage of negative comments directed at ME PERSONALLY. It’s a MOVIE. It’s a BAD movie. Get over yourselves. Go attack the reviewers of Deadpit.com too and everyone else who gave it a bad review. I’m sorry, but you can’t just make poorly done shit and expect anyone other than your friends to fall all over themselves with praise for it. That’s not the way things work.
As far as my not knowing anything about independent filmmaking, you’re sadly mistaken, guys. There are plenty of independent filmmakers out there with, what’s that word…oh yes, talent, who MacGyver together great works of art on a shoestring and a dime. They understand concepts such as pacing, storytelling, editing, sound design, art design, acting, cinematography and the like and they use their talent to piece together wonderful creations. You didn’t. I agree that independent horror filmmaking is the best horror filmmaking, but not ALL of it. You made a bad movie, you got a bad review from a website. Boo Hoo. You asked me review it and that’s what I did. As far as the comment the writer/director made to me about doing it all to get a free DVD, I’d gladly give it back. It’s just a shoddy DVR anyway with no intrinsic value either with the film nor in regard to the media itself.
Keep making movies if that’s what you want to do. I have no desire to review anything you ever make again as it will more than likely be on the same level of utter garbage as Stockholm Syndrome and you have all proven yourselves to be less than professional. Your company epitomizes every aspect of unprofessionalism that is so often unfairly attributed to independent filmmakers. You have singlehandedly destroyed any shred of credibility you ever had, at least with this site and this fan. This may not matter to you, that’s fine, but if you continue to behave in this way with every company that gives you a negative response, you will fail to go any further in this business. Not that this would be a bad thing. The less horror fans have to put up with your type of shoddy, untalented filmmaking, the better for us all.
We’re done with you and your associates. Any more attempts made to contact myself or this site will be considered harrassment and will be dealt with accordingly. It’s time we both move on.
Ok, well, apparently the folks over at 4th Floor Pictures weren’t too terribly excited about the review I gave for their film STOCKHOLM SYNDROME (synonymous with everything else Brain Damage excreets). Thus, I had an email sitting in my inbox this morning:
Its funny you guys call yourself Backwoods Horror because you dont’ know anything about horror films or at least independent films. This was an independent film made a few thousand dollars. Its not Hollywood – its low budget film making. Thanks for trashing it…
Ryan
4th Floor Pictures
Interesting to say the least. I love the part where he attacks the site, stating with full intellegence how a horror site that talks MOSTLY about independent cinema (though, mostly GOOD independent cinema…some bad). I often rail heavily against the shit coming out of Hollywood these days. I report on it, yeah, but I also usually give a little tidbit of how shitty I believe it’ll be. Stockholm Syndrome CAN be compared to a “Hollywood” horror film, if not by budget, than in one way…they blow chunks together. Difference being, Hollywood blows millions to suck out loud, 4th Floor blows thousands. Regardless, here’s my response email:
That’s great.
Listen, because you’re young and impetuous, I’ll understand this launch against me, about my not understanding about film, something I’ve devoted my life to and have worked in the industry for about a decade. No biggie. I understand what it is to work on independent, WAY independent budgets and I gave you credit for it. It’s hard, I realize that. I’m just curious as to what you expected when you finished with the film? When you sat back and realized what you had made, did you truly think it belonged amongst the pinnacles of exploitation/independent cinema? I’m happy for you that you’re making films, I really am. It’s an amazing dream not everyone gets to follow and you’re doing it in spades.
Given my respect for that, there’s no way around the review I gave. The film is just terrible. I’m sorry, but you’re going to hear things like that when you make a terrible film. Like I said in the review, I’d be happy to look at your other work. I’d be interested in seeing what your films are generally like. You know, get an overall view of the writer/director Ryan Cavalline’s repertoire. I can’t judge you as a filmmaker on one picture alone, and I never set out to judge you personally. I set out to review the film itself. And the fact of the matter is that the film is just….bad. Poor writing and poor acting was the overall MAIN problem with the film. The sound issues could be worked with in post, not an issue, and the directing wasn’t always that bad. There were real flashes of talent here and there. A fantastic example of what someone can do on a low budget would have to be George Romero’s Night Of The Living Dead. The guy had virtually no money.
The problem is, if you have such a limited budget, you need to get more creative with the story in a way to work around budgetary restraints. Trust me man, I believe you can do it. But if you continue to spew out flicks Brain Damage picks up for distribution, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Perhaps you can get some money behind you from the Brain Damage deal, however, and move on to make a better, more polished project.
I wish you all the best in future endeavors, Ryan, and look forward to seeing your future work.Best Regards,
Aaron J. Howell
And that’s that. Jesus man…some people. Just chill the fuck out guys and make a better movie.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Oh fucking…AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!11!!1!! Just look!
Howdy Ho Dear Readers! If you’ve given two shits, you might’ve noticed that there haven’t been any newer posts on the site of late. That’s because I could no longer access my neighbours’ internetz (hey, if you don’t secure it, you’re a dumbass). In any case, I guess they forgot to pay their bill or their ISP cut ‘em off for over-the-limit bandwidth usage, heh, so I had to break down and get my own glorious 6mbps. So BACKWOODS HORROR is back, and with it, the Thanksgiving spectacuLAR of THE BACKWOODS HORRORSHOW will finally be going up and possibly another one before or around Christmas.
Speaking of Christmas, it’s going to be a sour one here at ‘ol casa de Backwoods as I was officially canned from my job at GeekSquad for insubordination. Fuckers. Ask a few questions and you’re fired; can’t have the drones thinking freely and all that jazz. So, an open request…if anyone who works on a professional horror news and reviews site (i.e. can pay me) and needs another writer, let me know. Wouldn’t be a full-time gig, I realize, but every little bit helps pay the rent (and server costs, and bandwidth, etc. etc.)
Anyhow, expect new posts more frequently now. Apologies for the absence.
Your friend in horror,
Aaron J. Howell
