Hey, ok, so it might be a bit of a cheat reviewing both films hack to back, but I watched ’em together, so I’m gonna review ’em together. If there’s a problem, get yer own damn website! Alrighty, let’s get started. (OH, and there are going to be spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the films, go out and buy ’em *the new Paramount Releases are the best to go with, or the Box Set if you can get your hands on it, I’m reviewing the new PARAMOUNT DVD’s here* or rent ’em, but for fucksake, WATCH ‘EM!)
Possibly one of my all-time favorites of the franchise, Friday 2 introduces us to Jason Fucking Voorhees, the most Iconic slasher in horror fuckin’ history, sans hockey mask. Nope, this flick has Jason wearing, as Deadpit puts it, the ” ‘Tater Sack “. That’s right, our boy Voorhees runs around with a pillowcase over his head with one eyehole to see the lambs to the slaughter. Another variant is that, at least on half of his head, the guy has HAIR…and a frickin’ Beard! So aside from Part 7, this is my favorite incarnation of Jason. Why, might you ask, is Jason so Jeremiah Johnson? Well, turns out Jason DIDN’T drown all those years ago, but instead of findin’ momma right after, he wandered out of the lake and was raised by wolves or something to become THE WILD MAN OF CRYSTAL LAKE! Of course, no one calls him that, but it’s a good name. Same set up in a way, 20-somethings are setting up a camp on the other side of the lake from CAMP (BLOOD) CRYSTAL LAKE. All the standard character set-pieces are there, The Horny Kids, The Nerdy Goof, Miss Virginal Final Girl, etc. etc.
It seems that Jason saw his mother get the chop and in a weird sort of beginning, Alice from the original flick is in the beginning of this one…for about three seconds before ‘ol Jay Jay puts an Ice Pick through her skull. TAKE THAT, FINAL GIRL!! I’m still not sure how that happened though. I doubt Alice stuck around Crystal Lake after all her friends were brutally massacred (massacreed) by Momma Voorhees, so…did Jason take a bus? Look Alice’s more than likely UNLISTED number up in the yellow pages (Jason lets his fingers to the choppin’), or what? Who knows, who cares. Moving on, we are slowly introduced to our characters, and the filmmakers really did a decent job of this as you’ll find yourself actually CARING about the characters somewhat in this one. Some musings occur as to whether or not Jason’s still out there in the woods somewhere, musings that are quickly answered as the new counselors go down one by one.
So what’d I think of the movie and the new DVD? Well, as I said, I’m actually a big fan of this one. Jason runnin’ aound all “spooky backwoods horror style” rippin’ off THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN while he’s at it (he must be a Huge Chuck Pierce fan because he has the Boggy Creek Fouke monster and The Town That Dreaded Sundown DOWN PAT in this flick)…it’s just divine. The counselor characters are setup really well actually (something that starts to take a downturn with part 3), and the story is fairly solid (minus the weird-ass opening, but hey, that Alice bitch had it comin’). Part 2 is one of the better flicks in the series. As far as the DVD goes. No HD transfer that I could tell in this one, a real shame actually, and the special features are somewhat Ho-Hum. I’d say go pick this one up if you don’t already have the box set as it is a MUST for the franchise,
HOT DAMN! I said when I first got this one in the mail…3-fuckin’-D!!! That’s right boils ‘n ghouls, Paramount released (as you probably already know) their new Friday 3 dvd with the original 3-D (and regular) picture. Fantastic…unless, like me, you wear glasses. I couldn’t figure out what the fuck to do with myself. In front of the glasses didn’t work, behind the glasses didn’t work, I had to go put contacts in to watch the fucker. I suppose it’s impossible, but I would’ve loved a digital 3-D transfer instead of the old red ‘n blue, but hell, beggars ‘n choosers and all that shit, right?
Briefly, Friday the 13th Part 3-D has the same formula as every other Friday for the most part, but there are some weird oddities. The first weird ass oddity is that I have no fucking Idea where this thing’s supposed to take place. I guess it’s Crystal Lake…somewhere nearby maybe? I have no idea. These friends, including the infamous Larry Zerner as Shelly(the nerdy prankster), some pot heads, another guy, a pregnant chick, and some chick Shelly’s supposed to hook up with all take the mystery machine up to that weird place somewhere near Crystal Lake, a farm…sort of…with no animals, just a barn and a farmhand that doesn’t really do anything I guess, for a weekend of relaxation, sex, and weed. There’s an emotional connection between the final girl and the farmhand and there’s also some kind of weird backstory about how the final girl saw Jason a little while back, running through the woods, clumsily trying to attack her. One by one, the weekend crew gets the axe (along with a biker gang).
So, ok, no camp in this one, but bonus points for the FIRST EVER APPEARANCE OF HOCKEY MASK JASON! The story was a little too all over the place to the point where I didn’t give a shit about the characters (but, I mean, no one watches a Friday flick for any character other than Jason, right?), and it all seemed a bit jumbled. In regards to the 3-D aspect. There were a few scenes of Jason’s implements of destruction poppin’ out atcha, but a LOT of the 3-D stuff was like, fuckin’ yo-yo’s and poles and baseball bats and shit. What the fuck is that? Also, negative points for me having to figure out how to even WATCH the fucker in 3-D with my vision impairment. Thank god they left the non 3-D version on the disc. The 3-D version of the film, along with a trailer are the only special features. Uh…what happened to the commentary track. I seem to remember there being one on my box-set edition. All and all, hell yes I’d say go grab this one up in stores! I mean, fuck, it’s Friday 3 in 3D!!! FINALLY!!! Check it out! For all its shortcomings, it’s still worth the bucks for the Hockey Mask appearance, some decent kills, and 3D! By the way, the disc includes two pairs of “hockey mask 3D glasses.”